WHAT’S YOUR NET WORTH?
QUESTION: I have spent my lifetime making money. I prided myself on the growth of my investments. Over the last year, my net worth has plummeted. I have sunk into a depressed mood that I can’t seem to shake. I feel like such a failure. You must have a lot of people like me that you are seeing. What help can you offer me?
ANSWER:
What is your net worth? When I ask that question, does your mind jump to your portfolio? If money defines your life, then you are, indeed, crushed by the loss of your assets, and, while not poised by the window of your office ready to jump out, you think of yourself as less of a success than you were a year ago.
The problem is that you have your priorities upside down; in your mind, if you have less, then you are less. If you have lost a lot of money, then you are a loser. With that mental framework, how could you not be depressed?
Depression is a gap between our ego (who we are) and our ego ideal (who we think we should be). If you think that you should be wealthier, or should have seen the economic meltdown coming and wisely sold your stocks, then those “shoulds” push you down into the deep dark hole called depression.
The solution is to realize that you have put the cart in front of the horse. Your worth is predicated more by who you are, and less by what you attain. Who you are defines your potential or power to make money, make love, raise a family, or whatever you choose. Within you is a mind with which to think, a heart with which to love, an imagination with which to dream, and qualities such as honesty, integrity, and kindness that attract people to you. Ask your family why they love you; I doubt that it is because you have a lot of money.
Now I am not saying that losing a high percentage of your assets is good, nor am I saying that there is anything wrong in making money. What I am saying is that your net worth is predicated more upon who you are than what you attain. When you die, what goes with you from this life to the next is not your money, but yourself. Just as you have grown your investments, you can grow as a person, becoming more understanding, more forgiving, more patient --- more you. The happiness that will bring you benefits you in this life, as well as the next.
So, while the loss of your assets is bad, you are not! You are just as talented as ever. Hard as it is, try to see that while our recessionary economy has put a dent in your portfolio, you as a person have emerged unscathed. And, bad as it is, your financial loss can have a good effect, awakening you to see your real net worth, which does not rise and fall with the Dow, but is a rock solid foundation for your growing happiness.
Peter K. Stimpson
